The Best Rapper Alive. He Did It.

I'm the best, man. I did it.

And what I did was write a web article.

But there's someone else who's the best and what he did, man, was become an Internet sensation by astounding the Internet audience across the world with his finesse and lyrical skill and delivery.

His name is Eli, and he's the best. He did it.

[Photo credit: By Dom Brady from Atlanta, Georgia, United States (Attitude's Set) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Back in the early part of the millennium, at a spectacular rap battle at a high school, on the Iron Mic program, Eli stole the show with his flair and tactics on the microphone. He bewildered his opponent, named Envy, with a long pause that made the judges take notice. He also blasted his opponent by promptly stating that he was like "Rosie O'donnell at a bi-sexual bridal shower", probably the best line in Hip Hop history. What did it mean? Well, Rosie O'donnell would have a chance at scoring at a bi-sexual bridal shower, that's for sure. But probably she would be dumbfounded by the plethora of prospects. The joke was a double entendre, and the pause was strategic. He is a master.

Does he hate Rosie O'donnell? No. That's not the point.

The final blow was when Eli told Envy that he needed to stay in the shade and was already in the gay parade. Who would have thrown those words around like the wizard Eli? No one. No one but Eli.

Of course, others couldn't resist examining this meaningful and profound rap battle down to its core and essence. Here we see a fine but flawed interpretation.

That analysis is flawed because it contains a total misinterpretation of the "Rosie O'donnell at a bi-sexual bridal shower" line. The meaning of the line is not that she does not belong at the bridal shower but that she would be crazy trying to hook up with so many women whom she has a chance of impressing.

Of course, Eli had a chance to fully impress us and redeem himself from the unfair judgment he received at the original competition.

Eli roast ya like ever.

By Poppy Thomas-Hill (Flickr: Grilled Cheeseburger Patties) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons