Man in Small Town Realizes It's Not Him, It's Them

After decades of dealing with uptight women, backward bigots, control freaks, and fake liberals, man in small town realizes that the problem is not him, it's them.

Franklin spent much of his time just shutting up and being quiet about it, but then he got shut down one too many times by an ignorant local, and he then had an epiphany.

"Yeah, they're idiots. I guess I always knew it, but this last incident really brought it to light. They are proud Americans who believe you should work hard for pennies, watch your conduct around their women, and make sure you say and do the right thing...according to their blueprint. Slogans and 5-point plans abound as far as what they consider right...according to them. They believe in freedom...for some", Franklin confided in an interview at an undisclosed location.

The town-folk are friendly, openly-bigoted mullet-wearing half-wits, that control conversations and actions of residents that are dissident, with various forms of manipulations, talking over the top of people, snotty glares, and brush-offs. Alienation, some of them say, is their weapon of choice.

"I saw a guy who was very interested in women, and I gave him the 'you're a dangerous stalker' look, which put him in his place pronto", said local uptight feminist, Kimmie Tayback.

Franklin has decided after years of abuse that he'd like to plan a move soon.

"I'd like to live somewhere in which people actually mean it when they talk about freedom. I want to live somewhere in which every man with a sexual drive is not held under suspicion by the thought police. Also, I wouldn't mind living somewhere in which people actually care, without the liberal rhetoric; and I'd like to live somewhere in which people maybe are not backward bigots hiding behind identities and cliques. Hey, that's just me, I got my own ways!"

Photo credit:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonibirrer/